Coffee Chat: So, Who Is Your Midwife?

If you're going to invite someone into your home, trust her with your healthcare, and maybe even have her sitting beside you while you bring your baby into the world, you should probably know a little bit about her.

So this week's Coffee Chat is a little different. Instead of talking about pregnancy, hormones, birth, or women's health, we're turning the questions around.

Who is the woman behind Living Waters Midwifery? Why did I become a midwife? And maybe more importantly, what is it actually like to be in my care?

Grab your coffee. Let's chat.

Let's start at the beginning. Why did you become a midwife?

I've always been interested in healthcare. Even as a kid, I had this odd obsession with anything medical, although I had absolutely no idea where it was going. Ironically, I was exposed to midwifery very young. I just didn't know it had a name. When I was about six years old, my parents had my little sister at a birth center in Lakeland, Florida. I sat on my grandmother's lap and watched her birth. My mom was on some kind of birthing stool or chair, a contraption I honestly haven't seen since, and I remember my dad rushing over in a slight panic about a nuchal cord because... that's my dad. But it was beautiful. I really think that experience planted a seed.

I also grew up watching my dad care for everyone and everything around him. I watched him work on the farm, care for animals, even help deliver animals. He has always been someone who puts other people first. I'm naturally very empathetic and nurturing, too. Eventually I just had to figure out where to put that.

But you didn't go straight into midwifery?

Not even close. I started out planning to become a registered nurse. Then I had an anatomy and physiology professor who kept telling me, "I don't think that's your path. I think there's more." I ignored him through A&P I. Then I got him again for A&P II. 😂

Eventually he convinced me to consider pre-med, and for a while I thought I would become a doctor of osteopathic medicine. Then I got married, wanted a family, and something about that path just didn't feel right for me. So I went back to nursing school and eventually worked in emergency medicine. That's where I met a friend who was a CPM and was attending Frontier Nursing University to become a Certified Nurse-Midwife. I remember saying, "CNM? What's that?" She explained it to me, and it was basically this moment of, Oh. That's it. That's exactly where I'm supposed to be. So I went to Frontier and became a midwife. The funny part is that my admission paper for Frontier was about eventually opening my own out-of-hospital practice and one day a birth center.

And... well... here we are.

What do you hope your clients would say makes being cared for by you different?

I hope they'd say that I listen. That they don't feel rushed, ignored, or brushed off. That they know I genuinely care about them and want what's best for them. I also hope they'd say they feel informed. I don't want to make decisions for you. I want you to make decisions with me. That means I educate a lot. I want you to understand what's happening, what we're looking for, what your options are, and why we're recommending something. And yes, sometimes that means my appointments run long. I'm not really a "quick and dirty" kind of provider. Especially in birth, I don't want you lying there wondering what everybody else in the room knows that you don't. You, your partner, your doula, your midwife, your birth assistant, we're a team. I want everybody to understand what's happening.

So who tends to click really well with you?

Someone who wants that kind of relationship. I really believe choosing a midwife goes both ways, especially with home birth. There has to be trust on both sides. In some ways, I want it to feel almost like your best friend is catching your baby. I tend to click really well with women who like to learn, ask questions, dig deeper and actually know the person caring for them. I'm empathetic and compassionate. I'm pretty lighthearted. I have a somewhat sarcastic sense of humor. And I'm extremely optimistic.

Someone once called me "toxically optimistic." 😂

I prefer to think of it as: let's see the silver lining until there isn't one. That doesn't mean pretending everything is okay when it isn't. When something changes, we'll deal with it. But I'm not going to borrow trouble before trouble gets here.

You work both in and out of the hospital. What feels different about Living Waters?

First, I'm genuinely thankful hospital birth exists. There are women who want to birth there, and there are women for whom the hospital is absolutely the safest place to have their baby. I still practice in the hospital, and midwives who are trained in normal physiologic birth can provide amazing hospital care. But there are limitations within a large system.

With Living Waters, care can be much more personalized. Honestly? It feels like I can breathe. I know my clients. I know their names and faces. I know their personalities and pieces of their lives. Some I've cared for through multiple pregnancies and births. And I get to come into your environment rather than always asking you to come into mine.

What does that look like during a home birth?

At the hospital, you're coming into our environment. We know it. You don't. And we're trying to introduce you to this unfamiliar place while you're in labor. At home, I come into your environment. I'm not walking in and turning on every light. I'm not turning off your music. I'm not immediately asking you to get into bed so I can start doing things to you. Sometimes I walk in as quietly as possible and just watch and listen.

One of the beautiful things about out-of-hospital midwifery is being able to use some of those forgotten senses. Our hands. What we're seeing and hearing. How someone is moving. How the room feels. Of course we assess mom and baby and use appropriate clinical equipment. Safety is incredibly important to me. You can't really have a peaceful, relaxed birth without feeling safe. But care doesn't always have to be invasive to be attentive. I've actually brought a lot of what out-of-hospital birth has taught me back into my hospital practice. It's amazing how the demeanor of a room can change when you bring calmness into it.

Okay, enough midwifery. Who are you when you're not working?

I'm a wife and mom first. My husband and I met at my 16th birthday party, and we've been together ever since. We have two teenagers, a boy and a girl, and I homeschool them. I also teach health science and life skills at our homeschool co-op every Thursday. I really love teaching, but I also love learning.

And I read. A lot.

My Bible is pretty much always nearby, but otherwise my reading preferences make absolutely no sense. Give me the mushiest fairy-tale-type story with a ridiculously happy ending. Love it. Give me a thriller that's creepy enough to make me curl up under a blanket thinking, Ooh, this is scary. Also love it. Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Nicholas Sparks. Apparently we're letting everybody in, haha!

I've also somehow become a runner, which is something I never thought I'd say. I love hiking and being outdoors. Nature is probably where I feel the most peaceful. And my faith is a huge part of my life. My husband and I help lead a church group, he teaches the adults, I usually teach the kids, and we help with worship.

So yes, I'm a midwife. But that's definitely not all of me.

What if someone is reading this and isn't sure whether Living Waters is right for her?

Reach out anyway.

Seriously.

There are no stupid questions. You don't need to know whether you're a candidate for home birth. You don't have to know exactly what kind of appointment you need. You don't even need to know whether I'm the right provider for you. Let's talk. And if I'm not the right fit, there are no hard feelings whatsoever.

Maybe you're outside my driving range. Maybe I'm already booked. Maybe you need care outside of my scope. Maybe what I offer simply isn't what you're looking for. That's okay. I know some wonderful providers in this community, and I'd rather help you find the right person than try to convince you that person has to be me. I know what I know, and I know what I don't know. If I can help, wonderful. If I can't, let's figure out who can.

And this isn't only for pregnant women, right?

Definitely not.

I've been providing gynecologic care since 2019 and have cared for women from menarche through menopause. That has included painful periods, PMS and PMDD, fertility concerns, breast health and cancer diagnoses, perimenopause, menopause and everything in between.

Functional and integrative women's health is really important to me because I don't want to just look at the surface-level complaint and try to fit everybody into the same box. Sometimes the answer is something I can help you with. Sometimes we need labs or additional evaluation. Sometimes you need another specialist. And sometimes you just need somebody to sit down, hear the entire story and say, "Okay. Let's figure this out."

Last question. What do you ultimately hope someone walks away with after being cared for by you?

Hope.

I've been the patient who walked out of an appointment thinking, What the heck did I just waste my time coming here for? Did we accomplish anything? Did that person even care? I don't want my clients to feel that way. I want you to leave thinking, Okay. I have somebody on my team. Somebody who's invested in finding answers and making good decisions with you.

I want you to feel like I listened to you, not just your symptoms, your pregnancy, your lab results or whatever reason brought you through the door. I won't always have every answer. But I'll listen. I'll dig deeper. I'll tell you what I know and what I don't know. I'll help you understand your options. And if what you need is outside of what I can provide, I'll help you figure out where to go next.

I want you to leave knowing: We're going to work on this together. And I think that's probably the simplest explanation of what I want Living Waters Midwifery to be.

Want to know more about Living Waters Midwifery and what we have to offer?

Reach out for a free phone consultation!